Thought stream
Thought stream, a stream of thoughts. The hardest kind of text to read for me personally as it lacks the structure that editing gives to a text. Its messy, sure, but natural and familiar. And alien. Everyone experiences thoughts in different ways.
Which is really cool.
I don't have much to say right now, I don't know. I'm thought streaming right now. Writing for the sake of writing itself. I think I wrote something about that before. Writing for the sake of it implies that writing serves a purpose as an action beyond being used as a tool for communication. Which is cool.
Have you (you, as in rhetorical second person) heard about that exercise about writing whatever comes to your mind for like five minutes? Yeah, we ball right now.
I'm not that confident about it honestly.
I was scared before that a thought came to be and I blocked it. I caught it mid stream and got scared not in the "sudden death image" thought but as "holy shit, am I racist?" type. Not like I want to be racist, I want to move in the opposite direction of racism. But when you live your whole live surrounded by racism, the principle helps by identifying anything that might approach you. What about that that's already inside you? You'll notice only if you are actually looking for it, or if it bubbles up suddenly - like it happened with me right now.
So I asked a friend of mine. Apparently I'm not racist. That's good to hear, but I had to explain my thought. What if I didn't do that? Could I come up as a racist by accident by virtue of being a bad communicator? I must pursue then the rue of being a good communicator. How awful.
And that's something that was noticed. It something that sounds bad. It could be easily understood as if I said something racist but its actually a fair point. I won't bother writing it here, its about my country politics.
What I can say though, I really really hate the appropriation of ethnicity and political party that happens way way too much. A party establishing itself as "defensor of X people" and then crushing all other independent parties that are also mostly formed by X people but don't agree with the big political party.
The search of power for power's sake has brought me in contact with the worst human beings I've ever met.
Wait, I haven't talked about it here. Basically, for being a member of a party you can get special benefits if that party reaches power. For being a member, you have to "do your part" for the party and be in communication and what not. These (me included) are the people that draw in the walls "PEPE PRESIDENTE" in exchange of the possibility of getting a good job if your party reaches power. In a specially low point of my life, I got into contact with members of a political party. At the time, I told myself "I just want to see", in reality I was testing the waters.
Scourge of this world.
I don't know what else to write. I love my dogs. I don't want to write about them, I want to post photos. For the moment I'm only text based but the moment I can I want to share photos to the world.
Writing for writing sake. Its like meditation in a way.
Sure, you're not living the current moment necessarily while writing, but the act of it forces you to anchor your mind into something transformative. Thus, anchoring you into the current moment. Only that your attention is not necessarily in the act of writing, but in the process of it.
I don't know how to write about the process of writing itself. How would I go and share my experience of moving my own muscles? Like, trying to pinpoint the border between "I want to move my arm" and "I'm actively moving my arm".
I used to think about that a ton while I was in the bathroom. And watch for faces in the patterns of the tiles. Now I don't because I have my phone to watch funny images instead. I'm cured.
I have a radio on my side. Both the FM and the AM (FW as its also know) work, but around me I have better FM. Also FM has better channels.
Its actually one of the things I used a ton to learn about what's happening in my country at people's level. Sure, one thing is to watch a TV report about a conflict, other is to hear an interview on the streets. I don't use tiktok or X - formerly know as twitter - for this because I don't trust the algorithm won't push an agenda or narrative around what I want to hear or fine tuned to get me into a position I didn't sign up to.
Talking about the algorithm, isn't it crazy that so many places want an ID now? For children's sake. Sure. If they really cared about the children, then we would get more options to really tune the algorithms and to make them way less violent than they are right now.
I heard a ton that google secretly hears you. As in, you're thinking of something, then you mutter something, and then you get an ad about it. The funny thing is that they don't need to hear you. Sure, they might, they probably do. But its not necessary to get that much info about you. Everything is a marker. From the last post you saw, to where you stop for less than a second or how fast are you scrolling or where are you not scrolling as fast. A huge huge huge amount of data is extracted from - dare I say, even the way you scroll. Or how much it takes you to touch a post, or how much you stay after a click.
Wow, that probably should be illegal. I'm sure AI datacenters are about to be used in a good way.
Speaking of which, when are the datacenters arriving at Bolivia? I'm talking about big names like anthropic or openai. What a shame, Bolivia is always two decades late to the party. I sure do hope these are sensible investments that would surely enrich the locals would arrive here sooner.
There's a difference between being a doomer and being realistic. If you're being pointed at with a gun to your face, its not doomer to say "I might die".
The reality of our current landscape is insanely dire. Things are trending towards just getting worse in the long run because, I don't actually really know how to say it. There's a machine. A ghost inside this system, that all changes made inside it will be corrected towards their default behavior, profit. All progress made from the inside trends towards correction into default direction. Profit.
No. Not profit. Not a machine.
I don't think this is a machine or system. But its noticeable here when looking at politics. Even the "radical revolution party" tends to move towards working with the system instead of revising it. Its incentives. There will always be people in search of power for power's sake. They must not reach power, yet are most often than not the ones that do.
Its a dire situation. There are not 'but's that will make this any better.
Despite it, there is still good to be done.
I have a plush behind me. I like it. I got it some time ago as I was searching for a teddy bear that actually looked like a teddy bear and not a teddy bear with a hearth or a hat. Just a teddy bear.
This is as close as I got. A teddy bear with a ribbon. I looked for it for too much.
I like office supplies. I like to think I have some good stationary around me but the reality is that its not enough. I don't even use it that much, I just like it being all pretty.
This is rough when it comes to notebooks. I have way too many notebooks that I don't end up using in its totality even though they are all used in at least some pages.
I have a favorite notebook though. Its a hardcover with lined paper and a kind of square shape that's not too big and trends towards a extended A6 or a square made with an A4. Its not that practical to use. But I like it. It has yellow pages.
I love some good quality notebooks. But I tend to "finish" the generic cheap ones.
Alright, that's about it. Time's up.
I still can't put my finger into what about writing as an action or process in and of itself is the one I really like. I split my head thinking about it while writing about whatever comes to mind. Its like focusing on your breath while you want to have the automatic breathing on.