I can't be trusted with big technology so I use small technology instead
Not to say that big technology isn't useful - any real world environment will tell you otherwise. But for me it more often than not isn't. I get overstimulated with ease, and the speed at which I reach my stimulation peak is more of a exploding exponent rather than a frog being boiled slowly - if I were the frog, I'm already boiled at warm water.
What I mean by big technology?
Anything that tries to overstimulate me for retention or engagement, for when the value function of the site is the amount of retention or engagement it gets from its users. Single handendly the most important characteristic for me to identify this kind of sites. Naturally, most of social media and some sites that allow social networks like forums or chatrooms.
All sites have a value function - a way to determine how much value it provides to someone, the author and/or the users. This value can be monetary - the usual, cultural - like for art or exposition, personal - maybe the author just likes the site, educational - maybe the readers or even the author are learning from using the site, etc.
Nothing bad with having a site that is made for the purpose of making money. But I do think it's bad when a site is made for the purpose of making money, AND it's value function is simply "engagement * retention". Because the way you maximize those two is by frying the brain of your users!1 Just look at the current trends of Enshittification, it's all because to maximize the revenue (remember, "revenue = engagement * retention") they must sacrifice some other things that may or may not be important. Like content quality.
The usual prevention or cure for this is to have something else that makes the site valuable or important. Principles. A reason to be. Something greater than the page. "revenue = engagement * retention" can stay there and still be good for the authors and the users alike if there is something else making the site valuable.
I can't trust me with these kind of sites. My problem is that I don't like them because of what they do to me, not because of what they are. If it were as simple as I don't like the rhythm that they have, or that I don't like their format, it's easy enough to quit them.
My problem is that I don't mind what they are. I do care about the effect they have on my life. And that leaves me to fix it, without the help of my stimulation or feeling center. In fact, they oppose it.
I just wish it was easier to just, not like what they are.
I tried to simply not use them. Didn't work. I tried to uninstall the application on the phone. Didn't work.
My first serious try was erasing all my personal accounts, keeping my social ones, and to uninstall all the applications from the phone. Installing them back was easy enough; didn't work.
What do I do if I can't trust myself to keep doing what I want to do?
My current try, is to allow a bit of technology; small technology, that doesn't share the most damaging traits that the former one has. It's working, so far. I found myself more anxious and tense at a times. I know this is supposed to be the part of destimulating the brain and that, but I try to not think about that a lot. What I try to notice is the states and changes that my brain has while in abstinence of overstimulation. It's weird to put it in that way, it implies that I am even less of my brain than what I though earlier. I was supposed to have direct control over my actions, but that turned out to be not entirely true for me. What do I have direct control over?
I decided that not feel ashamed about being more tense and anxious.
Being fair, the value function is directly related to revenue - more money, more value. So it would be more like "value = revenue; revenue = engagement * retention". And it's not like "engagement * retention" is the problem here, the problem is that more often than not it seems like the preferred solution is frying the users brain. I don't think it's the optimal solution, but it's without a doubt the most consistent one. sad.↩